Planning/Production: Script for New Shots

The new shots that we want to film, have to include dialogue from our main protagonists as this one of the main pieces of feedback from our target audience for our first draft was that their was a lack of dialogue from the characters and that it affected how clear the narrative of our film was to them. Shot number 5 in our storyboard consisting of the news shot in my previous post, will include the main piece of dialogue/narrative that will be added into our teaser trailer:

JOSH WALKS QUICKLY PAST THE STAIRCASE.

JOSH: Melissa!? ... Melissa!?

JOSH SUDDENLY STOPS SHOUTING, AND A WORRIED LOOK APPEARS ON HIS FACE.

(the faint ambient sound of a chandelier moving in the background)

JOSH LOOKS UP. THE CHANDELIER IS MOVING ON ITS OWN.

We feel this will effectively grab the audience's attention more as we have extended the original shot where Josh originally looks up at the chandelier, to incorporate dialogue, a dramatic and tense silence, and a longer realisation expression from Josh, which all establish that there is something eerie and bad about this house, a lot more than the quick sudden shot from our original rough cut. It intrigues the audience more, making them want to watch on and eventually want to watch the full film, and makes them on the edge of their seat thanks to the added tension, a conventional element in supernatural horror films and trailers.